You know that thing where you’re sure you’re going to be a patient, loving parent and you’ll simultaneously have an incredibly fulfilling career, a busy and fun social life and you will volunteer enough to be a positive impact in your community. But then you actually have children and you barely have time to phone it in at work and remember your children’s names. You do occasionally run into your former best friend at the supermarket or doctors though.
It can feel like your life is a checklist of things you think you should be doing, and never feeling like you’re doing enough. But this year, I am being forced to constantly re-evaluate what the important things are, and what is good for me to be doing. And I was doing so well until today, when I messed up at work, had to pull out of dinner with friends, and missed my daughter’s assembly in the process. So, I came home and cried in my husband’s arms.
He told me that I’m doing a great job, I am enough and then he took me out for a cheeseburger and told me I looked pretty. Because for all the things I might do wrong, I definitely chose my life partner well.
And so, as we head into term 2 here is a list of things I no longer give a f*** about:
1) The school app. Look, I appreciate everything the school does for these students, and how hard the teachers and admin staff work. But after 12 years of school parenting, I’m handing these reigns over to my husband for the rest of the year. I will however keep the canteen app and this morning I messaged our canteen manager and told her exactly how much I appreciate her. She is the GOAT. So next term my kids probably won’t make their soccer gala days, but they will be eating chicken burgers for lunch on Fridays.
2) My bully of an apple watch. Look, I’ve been on a bit of a health kick and even this week when my healthy eating has devolved into a steady stream of Cadbury mini eggs (strawberry of top deck), I’ve still been exercising because it makes me feel so good. But I don’t need to count steps or track standing hours. I’m doing enough. Stuff your loops.
3) Planning meals. I didn’t know this was the number one mental strain as an adult, but apparently it is. I’ve tried many things to combat this- meal rosters, meal kits, apps and I’m ashamed to admit that I briefly joined a Facebook group called “mums who organise” before quickly realising that these were not my people. Look, nobody in my house is going to starve or become malnourished, but I don’t know what’s for dinner tonight and I also don’t care.
This I care so very much about:
1) My beautiful little family. I’m lucky enough to be married to the love of my life, and be a mum to the most incredible two girls in the world. No, I’m not going to make it to every assembly, but my kids are going to remember the ones I went to, not the ones I missed.
2) The people who love me. My close friends are getting very used to drinking coffee with me while I cry, and they meet me for coffee anyway. The people you don’t have to pretend with are the best.
3) Sunlight, the swimming pool, walking at the lake, reading good books and chocolate. Because these things and the people I love are all I need.
